I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
