it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
