I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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