using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
