I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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