Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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