I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
