I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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