Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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