no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
