standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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