My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Sorry about my life...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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