Don't you send me to vm
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
