am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
