I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
