Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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