I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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