We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I would fuck him just for his dog
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
