Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
