Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
