My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize