I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
