Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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