i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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