do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
