This girl is more easily done than said...
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
