I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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