Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
ttyl tear gas
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
