he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
