I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
