Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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