whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
