I think I am morally bankrupt
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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