We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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