wrigley field is MILF paradise
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
