You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Randomize
