i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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