i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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