Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
