we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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