I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
it's great music for shaving your balls
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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