we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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