remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
