He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize