she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
