if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
