He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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