I wanna passion pit in your ass
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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