they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
