Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
