And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
