wakey wakey hands off snakey
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
