I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
