i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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