my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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