So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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