'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
