This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
