4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
