New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
