There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
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